This is the first in a series of dating tips, though, honestly, many of them are old-fashioned good manners or exercises in basic social awareness. You might not need this advice, but I’ll bet you know a few people you could forward this tip to (anonymously, of course!).
TIP: You’re at dinner with a date, or your long-time honey, or another couple, or just friends. Look down at your plate. Is it almost full? Look at everyone else’s plates. Are they nearly empty? YOU ARE TALKING TOO MUCH. Stop it.
I was at dinner on Saturday night with my date, Patrick, and friends of ours, a married couple. My date was talking about his recent artistic accomplishments, and his academic accomplishments, and his other friends’ celebrations of his accomplishments. For a while he talked about his daughter’s accomplishments. My eyes were glazing over, because I’ve heard these stories, oh, about 463 times. But then I noticed the other two were having trouble fixing their eyes on one spot and their contributions to the conversation were mainly “uh-huh,” and “that’s impressive,” and “of course you were proud.” I kept asking questions of our out-of-town friends and trying to find topics that we could all discuss, but my single-minded date would pause, then say something like “not to change the subject, but I’m changing the subject,” and launch back into his tales of his glory.
At the end of the evening, Patrick asked if they wanted to have dinner again the following evening, and I could read the panic in their eyes. We made tentative plans, but, surprise!, they cancelled. Poor self-absorbed Patrick was clueless. But maybe he’ll find this blog post in his inbox and he’ll spare future dinner companions the same fate.
Learn the lesson: Don’t bogart the conversation.
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